Embodying Potential

Hey,

How are you? Really?

Many times when I sit down to write you, I am wondering:

• What are you up to?

• Where are you at?

• Has there been a week, a month, or a quarter of laughter and ease, or hustle and grit?

I care. I want to know.

So, when I receive a voice message or an email reply saying, “I really needed to hear that”, it makes my day and fuels my writing.

Thank you.

And if you want to have the opportunity to speak to me and the others in our community - join us in our WhatsApp Group.

Pissing people off

Whatever your purpose is, it’s not to be liked.

And once in a while, that means triggering someone.

But hey…

When it means staying true to yourself and embracing YOUR potential.

Is it worth it?

Well, you tell me. 🥰 

You have tremendous potential , so get comfortable pissing people off, and embrace the joy, love, and freedom that follows.

Now, if you are up to the story that inspired this message, scroll 😉…

14 minutes

I’m staring at my phone in disbelief.

It’s another voice message from her, and this time, it’s 14 minutes long.

I walk into the kitchen and as I begin prepping my potatoes, I press play.

“…as a communications expert, you should be able to communicate better”, I hear her say somewhere 7 minutes in.

Followed by, “I didn’t like how you shared that, you could have done better”.

And at first, I squeeze my teeth and reflect on how I could have said it better. But right then, a word from a mentor dawns on me.

Your job is not to be liked and if you don’t trigger someone once in a while, especially in a relationship or leadership position, you are NOT doing your job.

But be clear of knowing from where you say it and why.

Right then, a smile spread across my face as I realized that I had finally gotten through to her.

See, you can only get triggered, if there’s something to be triggered aka there is something you are not at peace with and that you know is true.

Own what’s yours…

With the hand on the chest, how many times have you been criticized or questioned for being i.e. a bad mother, a bad friend, or unprofessional?

And in response, you criticized yourself, and tried harder to be a good mother, good friend, and professional?

Just to feel drained and/or lost down the road?

I have.

I have a black belt in people-pleasing, holding back on what I’m great at, and doing it their way to not be criticized.

To unlock my potential and truly live my purpose, I’m learning to be comfortable with pissing people off once in a while.

There are some things that I’m exceptional at, and many would benefit from listening to me too.

Whether it is in a romantic relationship to working with my clients, I’m not here to dim my light - and neither are you.

And that starts with owning what’s yours (they won’t see it until you do).

Now, this doesn’t mean you should give an effing fuuuuck about others and always do it your way.

_{And a good measure here is, if you have a need to do it your way and feel triggered doing it someone else’s way - look inwards, there’s something you are not at peace with from your past, it’s not about them.}

This is about self-awareness and knowing where your boundaries are.

Like with that woman who sent me the 14-minute message.

She asked me for help.

It wasn’t the first time, and after having tried various approaches using examples and metaphors, I made a conscious decision to use a direct way.

And when I did it, remember feeling a troll in my stomach say, “She won’t like this, you will get in trouble.”

Ohhh yes, but she doesn’t value me as a friend because I tell her what she wants to hear, and neither are my clients (but it’s been a struggle there too out of the fear of losing a client or getting a bad reputation).

So this time, I felt strong when instead of apologizing and explaining myself, I responded with:

“You are right, I might not have said it the way you wanted it, and yet, I love hearing how this moved you.”

Two days later, she replied, “I know, you put the finger on something I didn’t want to hear. Thank you.”

You will not always be liked…

And you will piss people off.

Even as a coach, even as an expert, and even as a partner.

And that’s sometimes literally your job.

That’s a concept I had a tough time with at first, and it’s a concept I would love people to normalize without judgment.

Over the last 8 years of giving speeches, hosting workshops, and coaching mostly women to own and express who they are and the value they offer - most of them do the same thing:

• Worry about what others will think of them.

• Aim for being liked and popular.

• Aim to not stand out.

As a result…

• They use ambiguous words and jargon that means nothing.

• They dress down in colors and shapes so their bodies aren’t seen.

• They spend years in jobs and relationships they should do and feel safe.

If you keep avoiding pissing people off...

You will keep dimming your light.

And you will waste your time with people and things that were never meant for you.

Is that what you want to keep doing?

Remember, you have the talent, expertise, and experience, so each time you hold back, not only do you limit your own potential, but you also rob them of the opportunity to unlock theirs.

With love, jazz, and sass,
Erik

_{Written 100% human, 100% AI-free.}

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📌 P.S. For guidance to get comfortable pissing people off and spreading your light (with the self-awareness to know when to adapt vs. stay firm) - just reply to this email and let’s find the best solution for you.