Finding Freedom

Hi there,

I know, it’s been a whiiiiiile.

And I understand you might be wondering what happened.

I invited you to join my newsletter for inspiration and guidance on your journey of becoming every Sunday, but what happened with "every Sunday"?

It’s been months since I shared anything with you.

I’m sorry - it’s on me, and here’s what happened.

What happened?

I really wanted to write you every week, but between homelessness, heartbreak, and rock-bottom - I couldn’t keep up.

It was too much, even for me.

“Even for me”.

Ohhhh if you know what it’s like thinking you can do it all, yourself. Heck, even doing it all yourself, to finally drown, then you know what I mean with that.

I thought I could.

I mean, I’m known for being the one that "always figures it out”. I loved it when family, friends, and clients looked up at me for being so resilient.

It’s been part of my identity for decades. So giving up, not being resilient - no way.

But one week, lead to another, and suddenly there were months.

Life’s colorful reminders

I was so wrong, and I learned that in a supercalifrigaliciously hard way.

A way I truly hope you never have to experience to evolve, to become, and to turn the next page of your story.

I hear laughter next to me.

It’s a seagull swooping in from above, landing on another rock, looking at me. It’s like she is agreeing and saying, “Look up Erik.”

Are you lookin up?

Writing, I love it.

I have so much I would love to share with you, aaaaand I’m shakealiciously confident you will love A LOT of it too.

So…

I’m dropping the doing-it-all-myself identiy to let you in on ALL the stories, ALL the laughter, and ALL the wisdom.

After all…

Knowing that you should, knowing that you can, and knowing that you want to, but then not doing - what do you call that?

It’s the fast-track to regret, disappointment, and bitterness - and I’m having NONE of that.

Are you?

Good.

Let’s go.

_{Gosh, I’m rusty, I’m thinking to myself as I my fingers dance over the keyboard, misspelling every third word.}

What a ride

2024, wow what a year, I’m thinking to myself as I open my OneNote to see what word I had set for myself last year.

Goosebumps make my arms prickly when reading:

Oh yes, 2024 was all about self-worth, but little did I know that when I wrote that, it would entail a journey through homelessness, shame, and rock-bottom - again.

Ha ha ha, I’m giggling to myself.

Yeah, when I gave up everything to move from London to Berlin for my girlfriend in 2013, just to be dumped, like DOUBLE "D" DUMPED.

Stranded in a city I’ve never been, living in a hostel on borrowed money from my brother - I thought I knew what rock-bottom felt like.

But this…

Oh my griiiinch , turns out, rock-bottom comes in layers, like an onion, but less fun to peel!

I’m feeling my heart fill up with joy, love, and gratitude.

Looking up, embracing the stillness, the view, and the silence.

Bounce, babeeey bounce

When scrolling to the top of my journal for 2024, I find this sentence outline my intention for the year:

“This is the year I bounce back.”

And look at me 😃 I began 2024 living on a -500€ credit on my bank, and with:

• 3 months unpaid rents to my landlord.

• 5 months unpaid invoices to my accountant.

• 2 months unpaid memberships to my coworking space.

I remember going grocery shopping, always having to buy the cheapest products, to counting every cent before going to the check out.

Going to bed hungry and worrying if I would be kicked out tomorrow was my new normal.

There were no clients in sight and no project lined up.

Fast-forward to today

Here I am:

• Living in a cute flat by the sea, surrounded by nature.

• Partnering with four incredible clients.

• A potential lead role in a movie.

Yep, a lead role in a movie production ha ha ha.

And yet, the most valuable difference = peace of mind.

OHHHH. EMMMM. GEEEE .

To move from looking in the rear mirror everyday to looking forward, filled with excitement and creativity - hellooooo freedom.

No debts, not extinguishing fires, no catching up - just creating.

Badi bada boom.

I’m nodding to myself with a warm sensation of pride rising up from within and tears building up behind my eyes.

I made it. I’m back.

How did I do it?

Ohhhh , are you sure you want to get me started?

There were so many lessons, and I’m happily letting you in on ALL of them - starting with THE ONE that made it ALL shift.

But that’s a story for next week.

First, I need to head home before it gets dark and cold.

Meanwhile, I’d love to hear from you, what’s your word for 2025?

With love, jazz and sass,
/ E and little e

P.S. I really enjoyed sharing this with you, but please tell me, was in enjoyable, helpful, maybe even inspiring for you? Was there something you would you have liked to hear more about?

Simply reply to this email - I love reading every message I receive and your thoughts, stories, and questions motivate and inspires.