A Key to the Heart of Self-Discovery

Shimmy, yam, shimmy Sunday

How’s the first quarter of the year treating you ?

Over here, the 1st of March marked the date they gave me as a birthday when I was adopted.

Nobody really knows when I was born, so they pulled out a calendar, closed their eyes, and put the finger on a date.

Just kidding.

Based on stars, moons, and research, they made an educated guess that I arrived into this world sometime between 1 February and 1 April in 1985.

And voila, it landed on 1 March 1985.

“How does it feel to finally be a man?” someone asked.

Hu hu, I giggled to myself.

Never thought of it.

Ok, I actually never PAUSED to think of it.

So, last weekend, I pushed pause and took it ALL in.

I have now left my 30s, and apparently, I’m no boy anymore - but a real man.

How does that feel?

I feel the same vigorous, untamed, curious, playful, wild, and sassy as yesterday.

When I look around me at the many “real” men in their 40s, I must say, I’m not feeling like the way they act or look - at all.

And I don’t aspire to be either.

I know, I know, I’m generalizing here.

But I think you know what I mean.

A friend who is about to turn 50 just told me:

I love it.

I have every intention to be a conscious man over vanilla.

1 March 2025

I was sitting by an open fire under the stars and realized…

Nobody celebrated me this year - again.

You know, came over, created a surprise, sent me a gift, or went out of their way to just be with me.

Normally, I used to think I didn’t care about that.

But now, I’m more conscious, and I noticed a slight sadness in the bottom of my chest.

Nobody? Really? Again?

Simultaneously, a deep sense of joy and peace washed over me.

There I was, by the fire, feeling its warmth, hearing the peacocks sing far away, and smelling the food I was making - having it ALL for myself.

My brother and his girlfriend could have killed for this.

“So, why am I feeling this?” I could hear a voice within ask.

Why?

Because a touch of external attention…

A nod of external validation and someone else doing something for me would have made me feel a little extra, a little special, and a little better about myself.

And there it was, that inner insecurity.

Small, yet lingering.

The result of a part of me, deep inside, nurtured since childhood, that still wonders, “Am I good enough?”

You know you are.

I know I am.

And yet, the voice was there, and I’ve learned that by hearing it out, the most baffling discoveries and experiences follow.

The gift

You know statements such as “Crush your ego” or “Get rid of your ego”?

Yeah, I’ve tried to.

So, may I share a birthday gift with you?

Another key to becoming your most vibrant, authentic self that I’ve learned over my 30 years as a boy. 😅 

To make decisions that align with your values, to act as your best self, and to experience what you want - instead of what you don’t want….

Be curious of that voice.

Hear it out.

Are you about to make a decision based on that inner girl/boy who is sad, angry, or hurt because of XYZ (too many reasons to mention now)?

Or are you about to make a decision based on the conscious woman/man who knows that ego is there, warning, protecting, and defending… but you are choosing to say,

“Hey Buddy (my new nickname for my ego), I hear you, it would be great with some external attention right now, but I really don’t need it, we are good enough, and this moment right here is beautiful, let’s enjoy the peace, shall we?”

And wwooow , the decisions, actions, and outcomes that follow are beeeeespoke.

Like that evening on my birthday.

I quickly moved from a splash of sadness and disappointment to marveling at myself by the warm fire, the peaceful time, and the delicious wine.

And I avoided ending up missing that moment, stuck in a loop of criticism, blame, and disappointment.

By now, I’ve been taught my masters in energy teachings and experienced for myself that the route of crushing your ego and ignoring the inner voice is your fast-track to:

• Doubt and insecurity.

• Irritation and disappointment.

• Getting stuck in the spiral of decisions and actions that get you further from feeling like yourself and what you really want.

The choice is yours - I hope this inspires you to choose the joy, peace, and growth that follows by befriending your ego and hearing the inner voices out.

How does this story sit with you?

Did you relate to any of that, or was it just me doing the jumbles? 😆 

With love, jazz, and sass,
E and little e

_{Written 100% human, 100% AI-free.}

📌 P.S. If this is something you would like to learn more about OR be supported with, give me a call - I’ve been supporting women and men with this from Sweden to Australia over the last 8 years.